Natural Hair Advice Corner


Yem, how do I fall inlove with my natural hair? I know I want to be natural, that’s not an issue. I’m just having a hard time getting used to my new look. I have a twa (teeny weeny afro) and I’m honestly used to long hair straight or not, I can only remember me with long hair. Honestly, in my opinion, the more you wear your hair the more you will grow fond of it. Seeing yourself daily will only help you get used to the new look. Wearing your hair more also helps you learn your hair faster. The easy way out would be to wear wigs and weaves or braids till you reach a certain length right? But look, when you reach that length then what? You will now have to start learning your hair. What products does your hair like? What styles are more flattering? All this you can learn from the beginning. There is also so much joy in watching your progress. The fails and triumphs, all of it. Your hair is going to go through so many changes. You will learn how to style it through all those stages. Just wear your hair and take it day by day. It’s worth it. And if you do wear it more and still feel the same way, just wig it up, throw in some braids or weave and be sure to keep in healthy in those styles otherwise you may never reach that length you desire 😉

DSCN0026Yem, I’m having a hard time convincing my boyfriend that natural hair is beautiful. I told him I want to go natural and he is against it. I don’t want to have to choose between hair and my man but it is starting to look that way. He’s an awesome guy but this hair issue is causing so much friction between us. Any tips on how to make him see it my way? I had a similar issue and that boyfriend of mine ended up loving my natural hair and marrying me and all my natural hair glory. What is he afraid of or what is the reason he doesn’t want you to go natural. From what I read, it appears he doesn’t find it beautiful. I suggest choosing a time when both of you are in calm spirits and talk to him one last time. Hear him out and state your case. Show him pictures of all the beauty natural hair has to offer. From a health standpoint explain the toxic chemicals that are included in relaxers and the potential health damage it could cause. I am saying all this because  you said he is an awesome guy so he is worth the time trying to convince him. Sweety if all this fails, do you; like i did. Go ahead and do as your heart desires. If he hears your heart saying you want to go natural and learns the potential  cancer relaxers cause and still wants you to NOT go natural; ditch him. Big chop and send him a picture. He is either gonna learn to love you as you are or “to the left to the left”.

Yem, I really want to relax my hair again. Should I? No. If you want straight hair just flat iron it. Spend some money on a good quality flat iron and blow dryer. Buy some awesome heat protectant and find some anti-humidity products. Babe, our hair provides the best of both worlds….when done right.

20170903_134130Yem, I have both white and black friends. My white friends seem to like my natural hair more than my black girlfriends. I’m always the butt of the joke with them and they always seem to have my hair as their punchlines. What should I do? Ugh, It pains me when we receive the most negativity from our own. It’s sad that this is just the norm for many people during their natural hair journeys. If these ‘friends’ of your actually provide more than a heartache then maybe they are worth trying to get them to understand how  their jokes make you feel. If you haven’t, it’s time you stood up for yourself. You seem to be the kind of person who avoids conflict because I’m gettin gthe indication you don’t retaliate. So here is the game plan: Talk to them. Be calm and civil while you explain why you chose to be natural and how their comments make you feel and that it should stop. If it doesn’t stop, then stop investing your time in them. Since you are friends you probably will run into each other a lot so when you have those sticky situations where you can’t avoid seeing them and they start their mess, practice some comebacks honey. have some zingers ready. Don’t be rude or mean, just have facts and boldness on ready.

DSCN0024Yem, my daughter is 16 now and you know those years right? She has decided to relax her hair. She is determined and I really don’t want her to. Her hair is so gorgeous and long plus I have invested so much money on her hair (natural products ain’t cheap), What should I do? Oh man, this is tough for me. Not because the question is hard but because As a mother of a 3 and 1 year old, I don’t feel qualified to give a seasoned parent advice. From my understanding you have about two more years before she is packing off to college right? So till then you are the boss of her. She must adhere to your rules. If you say no, then no it shall be. In college she is going to do what she wants that’s just a fact so for now just try the nice approach and compromise. Maybe if she still feels like relaxing at 18 she can. I know 16 these days is time for extreme self-expression and acting grown but I believe a parent should remain in control. With teenagers at times it may feel like you have to pick your battles because there is no winning. Today it’s hair tomorrow it’s a tattoo and next week it’s as small as a cell phone case. Honey just hit her with the famous parent-line, “My house my rules”. Goodluck

2017-01-02 20.13.19 Yem, Should I big chop or transition? Hmmm, well I big chopped. I recommend a big chop however, i do understand transitioning can be the convenient go-to in some instances. The corporate sector is still catching up on the natural hair beauty memo so I get why many women would transition. Some are still not sure if they want to be natural so while they are deciding they keep their relaxed ends just incase. Some just don’t want to let go of the length. For me, if you are ready to be natural, and you have no external factors to consider like work,just cut it. Imagine watching your hair grow from day one till whenever. All the stages and phases. Cut it off, learn your hair. Look at your true self and fall in love with you all over again. At the end of the day, It’s up to you.